Catalog logo
loading spinner

Cover art for Carency's song: Apoptosis




We are sustained day by day through the periodic death of cells. Ironically, the cells constituting a human who wishes for longevity must not live too long. Perhaps entrusting ourselves to the profound life system and hoping for the proper functioning of apoptosis defines our existence. I learned the importance of surrendering oneself to something greater from a certain autistic child. Despite lacking spoken words, he possessed a rich inner language and communicated with others through touch. Spending time with him, I noticed that he conveyed various intentions through the strength and frequency of touch. After learning about his unique way of expression, I gradually connected with him and, wanting to engage in more 'conversations,' eventually started exchanging through piano performances. Even while I am playing, he unabashedly seeks touch. It might be hard to believe, but I find myself repeatedly touching him while playing. Please forgive the noise during the music, as it is mainly caused by his movements. While playing this piece as usual, I experienced an indescribable sense of wonder. Around 4 minutes and 25 seconds, he suddenly started dancing in sync with the music. I intuited that there was something 'ahead.' I stopped the touch with him and changed gears. I completely abandoned my own intentions and simply let the music go wherever it wanted. I threw myself into it, moving my fingers only as a guide for his dance, like a thread leading. It felt like a kind of flow state, but unique in the sense of being connected with others. He and I shared deep aspects through the music, and I believe we tasted the comfortable sensation of 'riding the rhythm of life.' There is neither autism nor normalcy, just a vast flow. The irreplaceable and grateful nature of being alive seems to manifest in space. I felt the wonder of being alive and the contours of life and death blur. After finishing playing, he looked at me and smiled. Perhaps he already knew about this. To live always feeling the rhythm, released from the constraints, what a rich life it is. Thank you for teaching me something important. From now on, I want to continue living richly, surrendering myself to the great flow and rhythm.

Token Info

Date Pressed
March 25, 2024
Resale royalty
Token ID