urboiari

Track 6

Last song on the project, last song we recorded. It took so long to get this song to where it ended up. The first versions was an ambient excursion with no clear structure. Beautiful song, but Jed and I sat down one day to rework it and it turned into this. Lofi rnb slowburner!!!!

--
when you left to europe
you didn’t say goodbye
i wasn’t pining for you
but still it made me cry
and were spinning round
and moving fast
and maybe i’m just too attached to you

a little while later
i met you at the park
and i was glad to see you
but something was off
cuz you’re, not around for me today
just say we’re fine, before you go away

i can feel my breath heavy on my skin
when i’m passing thru will i feel it then
i become a bat circling a cave
screaming in the dark trying find my way
im just afraid
it won’t be the same again

we did some things that we can’t undo
if you could know how i feel about
we did some things that we can’t undo
if you could know how i feel about you

0x40db152c9611bb752907eec573ef972ca0385ee781c0f7588c98d46410dd0ce0

leaving flowers out ↶*ೃ.•° ✿ ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

undo <--

This was a real Harcourt Paloma moment! Sat down in the living room/studio at 105 and I watched as Jed and Kaleb conjured the chords for this song. I scrambled to the computer to hook things up and get a recording of the space. Jared sat in his room upstairs and we recorded him playing a solo on my dictophone. Somehow it all turned into this beautiful ballad.

--
quiet
quiet down
i’m trying not to be so loud anymore

when i
left town
i wanted to keep my distance from the past life

so as i pass by
i won’t
be looking through the glass
if i know
it might just bring me back

why
why do i
i only do the things that make me feel good

i should be patient
i should be waiting
instead of circling around
i should be 
i should be patient!

 i won’t
throw pressure on the time
when i know
i’m getting by alright 

ooh

and i’ll find
something else to do
beside
waiting round for you
it’s fine
i’ll build it up and then
in time
i’m looping back again

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play quiet

Track 4

Deer is the shortest track on the project, it's an interlude. Voice memo recording written in one sitting. I still read that letter every now and then to remind myself of that hill. Leaving flowers out has a lot of recurring themes, I think this song is a great example of that. The world reveals itself a little bit here.

--
i stopped myself last night
from reading back the note that you left me
from when i turned 18
cuz i knew that i would cry
i’m pushing back the feelings
but it happens everytime

i can see the lights beneath us
from here
on the hill above the city
we ran into some deer
who were tangling like ivy
and then they disappeared 
thought i knew them for a second
only knew them for a second

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deer

Track 3

Pop music! Wanted to get back to my Fall Out Boy roots with this one hahahha. Jason and I started this track in the Bay and I finished it with Jed at Harcourt. It's a push and pull between feeling bad and desperate and angry and regret. It's a lot, it's the closest I've come to stream of conscious.

--
charissa last winter i left you out on that pasture
i know that you kept me warm but both of us were deserving of more
i looked past all of my bad traits
and it came around when i couldn’t keep back the bad days
i know i was being awful
should’ve paid attention to signals that you were sending
should’ve told you when i felt like i was second guessing
i was quiet and distant it’s all clearer now that i miss it

and i’ll be honest every now and then i want you back
regardless of the fact i broke it off
we made a pact to stay connected then
you took off that necklace
i couldn’t blame you for hating the way i left it 
but still wanna see you around
you needed space and it’s selfish but i still wanna see you around

i can’t shake a part of this
did you get caught up the way i do
two months and i’m still on it
am i to blame for things i knew
now i’m feeling bad about calling you

but i still wanna see you around
and i cared about you truly i promise
wasn’t there for you whenever you wanted
but i tried my best
(that’s all that i could do for you)
what more could you want than me to try my best

charissa i know that you’re hurt about my reaction
told you to change when really
i was afraid to show
thoughts about what i wanted
hiding all of the heavy and
kissing you on the carpet
kissing you on the carpet

somebody to hold
was i just a placement for
feelings that you couldn’t face 
on your own
(on my own)

can’t shake a part of this
did you get caught up the way i do
[?] and i’m still on it
am i to blame for things i knew
now i’m feeling bad about calling

i can’t shake a part of this
did you get caught up the way i do
2 years and i’m still on it
am i to blame for things you knew
now i’m feeling bad about 
im still feeling bad about calling you

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feeling bad about calling

Track 1

The first thing we made for this project. Still in North Hollywood, I produced and recorded this myself- and we were gonna redo it entirely before my hard drive crashed and I lost the session. 19 year old Ari, that's what this feels like to me. 

--
(letter in my hand i’m giving you
tell me what you think you’re living through 
tryna make it good i’m trying
i could never feel that difference now
make it okay can we stay good
letter in my hand i’m livid
you try to make plans i’m giving you time
to make sense of yourself now)

*my boo
that’s a weird nickname*

i want to give myself to someone who will hug me
even when it’s my fault
who can be careful with the way they say they love me
after several months apart
why do we lie about forever
you make it easy to believe
i think i left you with my sweater
will you still wear it when you sleep

cover up both my eyes
now i can’t see you right
but your hands feel warmer here than by my side
if i undo the bind
watch as you change your mind
tell me i’m not your friend
tell me i’m wasted time

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hug me

The first single from my debut EP. So proud of us for making this song, might be my favorite piece I've made ever.

I still love Russian Ridge, and being able to see the cities from the top of the hill. Sun going down, we encountered a mountain lion and scurried back to the car where the park rangers were waiting for us. We had stayed past curfew and I didn't have my license yet, made up a lie about leaving it at home. They let us go. And then we took a nap at the Airbnb off of University. Woke up sun shining through hahaha... you know how the song goes. I don't think about it like that anymore. It's good feels, and when I went back to your house vacant I was gutted. But glad I got to see you when I did.

<3

Thank you Aaron for helping me record this and bouncing between decisions the whole way through. Kaleb for your grounding touch. Nolan for playing two takes and giving the song years of life. Jason for making 10 versions with me and then stripping it back to nothing. And Jed for the ears w the mix/master.

0x79c6f0557598a20f52824e65e67dd5b335b6f51551acbae2716e2ad406aa6149

Leaving Flowers Out

nap time

this song always always always takes me back to when we made it. super special to me. Jason and i were cooped up at an Airbnb in santa clara when we made the first version. i was struggling with feelings for someone i was seeing at the time, it always comes out in song first. the second half (sinking) came about after i moved, i was playing around with space in recordings and somehow stumbled on to this section that felt one part like a hug and one part like falling. might be one of my favorite songs from the time.

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cad sky 2019?

Maybe the first or second session Jed and I did together. Turned out this was totally not the direction he was moving in musically, but it was a fun experiment. We spent 3 hours on that intro section and the rest came pretty quick. I think this one really captures the break up energy of the apartment at the time hahahhaha, 3 sad dudes fresh out of a relationship !!!! Pretty song w a cool beat.

0xf93b7f84d43a2d7d1bed799e9d2ba6800ac242a025707fdebad4516565ae9ba6

car song v2 feat. jerod

Hahahahah I love this one. It started as a Willie Nelson cover, D and I were pretty attached to "Always on my Mind" and tried to do a version. Somewhere in the recording process it turned into this experimental noise piece. A beautiful moment where we just let the thing unfold into what it became.

5664 Fair Ave
2021

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willie jandek

One of the first songs I made with Jed (from scratch). This is one of those songs that didn't make sense until i looked back at it a year later. I was in a super pop-rock mood at the time, making lots of guitar driven beats with splice drums lmao. Had Jed scream on this hook and it's still one of my favorite performances from him. Laura she's still here!

5664 Fair Ave
2021

0x3044032bf44bc6667cca73ba8f2b431ac4ac66321c8140c0aa4f2848ddd7c4f5

laura ft. jerod

Amidst making so many sappy heartbreak songs, there were other emotions boiling underneath. I think this one came from a need to express a certain aggression that I'm just not capable of in conversation. It's angry and abrasive, a nod to Cody Chestnutt and Jpegmafia. This one was also made during a time where D and I were working on a project for him. I would spend the day looking for samples and then produce a couple beats. We ended up scrapping that ep, or it never really panned out, but it ended up being incredibly foundational. Somewhere deep in my computer there's a version where D raps the lyrics of 'Bitch I'm Broke' over the beat (or maybe it was lost when my hard drive crashed).

5664 Fair Ave
2021

0x51abdba6aa44ba19fe5316491f17ea224e22b3570e06c2308963d7701676e81b

c the mess

I wrote this song some time in the summer of 2021, right before we had moved out of North Hollywood. Sent the voice notes demo to Mary and Jed, I tried recording it a few different times but it never felt right. This ugly, muddy, pitched-down recording always felt to me like the best rendition of the song. It's dark but not warm, something feels off through the whole thing. Over sweet lyrics about caring in different ways (or at least my idea of that). It's a little tender, a little dissonant - and that's where I was I think.

Dave's Garage
2021

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bordeaux 22

Songs from North Hollywood. Made by friends and myself in and around 2021. <3

5664fairave.com