I am personally excited to release my genesis project on Catalog. It took a lot of time for me to figure out what foot I wanted to step into the "Metaverse" with, as I respect the opportunity here to truly push art forward on all frontiers.
￼I’ve been making music for over 10 years now, and having started so young I was able to experience all the stages of grief towards my dreams before even having a quarter life crisis. To live, die, and be reborn as an artist is not something many people can say they’ve gotten the opportunity to do, however I am thankful for my experiences that have lead up to the person who exists today.
The piece I am here to share today was one that was costly to make, not financially, but more emotionally and mentally taxing. My experience with music has allowed me to feel a sense of comfortability in front of others no matter how absurd the task at hand was. I had come to a point, post-pandemic, where I had returned to doing live shows, however, the feeling of gratitude had passed. If anything, my original disposition towards art had returned; I was truly not an artist until I had taken a risk..
￼I had a running concept for a performance piece that would ultimately provoke thought and emotion. There was never really a right time to pull the trigger however as me being a smaller artist I was conditioned to think that I should be “thankful” for any of the opportunities I was given, no matter how demeaning they felt in the moment. With a sense of urgency to prove to myself my concept-to-reality ability as an artist, and with my recent success with Petty Fest, I felt there was no better time.
Truthfully I couldn’t tell you the name of the person I opened up for; It didn’t matter. They were the perfect person, with an audience most oblivious to my intentions. The day of, I ate nothing, I asked my partner to write the messages on my skin that I thought would convey the aesthetic further. In my journal I had drawn a sketch to keep track of my thought process. Even they were left oblivious to the course of actions.
￼When I arrived, I informed Wables that the only thing he would need to bring is dj equipment, and a mask, my goal wasn’t to burn bridges, but to do whatever I had to do to get the emotion across.
The hardest parts truly had to be the setlist and everything leading up to the set. I spent most of the week trying to curate the demos I had to assist with the task at hand- Too aggressive and it would be seen as such, too ridiculous and people would just laugh, too sad and somebody would take me outside and ask me if was ok. With such a limited selection available, it meant I had less to work with and that I would have to rely on filling in the blanks.
The game plan was simple (it wasn’t simple at all, it was stressful as fuck):
- Make people uncomfortable as quick as possible, acknowledge the space no matter how many people were there, and remind them that they were never entitled to it or that there was never a sense of comfortability to begin with
- Break down expectations, never let them know your next move. If they laugh, scare them, if they’re scared, make them laugh, if they’re quiet make them loud, and when they’re too loud, tell them to be quiet. This would push them to have a sensory fight or flight response and overthink everything happening, this causes the time to slow down, each moment drawn out and taken in.
- Push the envelope, (and this was something I needed to do), ultimately I had invited friends, and that meant they had a level of expectation of me and my capabilities, their presence was to assure me that I was in fact achieving my goal, it did however require me to take things to an 11..
- Make people think and make them feel, it didn’t matter what, it just needed to check this box in order for the experiment, the piece, to land.
- Last but not least, somehow accomplishing all of this, not getting arrested, not trashing the venue, not getting my sound cut or lights cut, all while trying to convey the piece.
After the performance, I had the intention of cleaning myself up, apologizing where I needed to, and explaining that it was in fact “Art” and not a Domestic Terrorist Attack, however I was dragged out the venue as arguments and problems flew across the room. This unfortunately was how I knew my piece was a success, I had provoked emotions so raw that I was to be immediately ejected from the room. I had little to no time to pat myself on the back as I knew the repercussions were around the corner. Thankfully with the help of natural wine and Xanax, I was able to turn the thoughts off and bask in the emotional satisfaction I had felt, I had finally convinced myself, I was finally the artist I had seen in mind.
The song I am releasing as my Genesis project is called “Dark Web”, it is in its purest form as preformed in the room, in the middle of the set, at the peak of when the time had slowed down. Purchasing this, is purchasing a piece of that moment.