J. Mack Ent.

This song is my musical version of a journal and helped me release. I hope this helps people feel better despite it being my self-sabotaging thoughts.
Usually, when we think of self-sabotage we believe it’s often destroying our mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health or opportunities with deliberate intent instead of considering the trauma and factors that contribute to them.

The song is filled with the rage and pain of a depressed burnout magical natural nonbinary femme moon dark skin native. This tree person is during twilight finally still, yet their branches are slightly unhinged and majestic standing in front of a pink reddish moon feeling numb.

I wasn't going to release this song because I want to put out more positive music in this world. My colleague Dawn, Death2thesun let me know I was tripping. 

Lyrics
Fuck the world. 
Fuck the world 
fuck the world. 
I hate the world. 
Fuck the world. 
I hate the world! 
Fuck the world! 
My soul shoulda aborted. 
I never should've came here. 
Everything is thwarted. 
I don't want to be here. 
I'd rather be in the ocean.

In Atlantis with my enchantress.
 Go on A sand. is...
Oh, my standards. 
Having some fun out of the sun. 
I've already won. 
I ain't done. 
I've just begun. 
Because I got the phone 
and I'm in the zone. 
You really tried me.

You ain't gon win 
I'm right within 
then I got deal with your shitty ass friends.
 Always in my face. 
Witcho cheap ass lace! 
I don't really like you. 
I get out my face. 
Why are you here right now? 
I don't really know what you want right now.

How you here anyhow? 
You need to get out in the weather any now. 
You got a house? Good for you. 
You got a job? Good for you.
 Ion give a fuck about that cuz the shit ain't real.
 You're just running on a big rat wheel.

You want me to be realistic.
 I should go. Just end it. 
That's how I feel. 
That's how I control myself. 
I worry about nobody else fuck my emotions. 
Wealth 
What is that? 
If I ain't got good health, you say grind till you die.

That shit ain't gonna fly.
 I'd rather be alive than barely alive. 
Be a robot. Be what they want you to be or be an enemy. 
I choose to be the villain before I be your frenemy 

You see.
And none of this really matters. 
No matter how hard I work, I still am under the ladder. 
That's what you want me to know? 
That's what Ima say. 
Bitches be like this because you gay! 
My life ain't been easier with the man or not.

I hate them people.
 They are the scum of the earth. 
They never should have been created at all. 
I say that is harsh, but I say it with a resolve. 
I know I'm right. 
Or maybe I'm wrong. 
And at the end of the day 
this is a shitty ass song

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Self Sabotage

J. Mack Ent  (pronouns Your Highness/J) is a Multidisciplinary Artist and Digital Nomad from Orange Mound, Memphis, TN with a focus on music production, mixed-media film, animation, and graphic design. Their Indigenous Roots, an homage to their ancestors, the Creator, high-self, nature, and multi-dimensional experiences are expressed in all of your highness's art to the highest vibrational energy.  
 An alumnus of Wesleyan University Class of 2016 and the Stax Music Academy Class of 2012. Currently participating in the Arte Sumapaz Residency in San Bernardo, Colombia.
Wesleyan University (2016)
Arte Sumapaz Residency (April 2021-June 2021)